Last Updated: 27-Dec-11

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  • Grandma, Grumpy and Unkie babysat me while Mommy and Daddy went out shopping.
  • I would not go to sleep willingly damn it and I hollered in Unkie's ear till I fell asleep. Unkie mentioned something about "rotten little bugger" - I assume he meant someone else. Moi? I think not!
  • I woke up when Mommy and Daddy came home and was all smiles and giggles (once again, the phrase "rotten little bugger" was bandied about, I assume, naturally, that they must be talking about the dog.
  • Have you ever heard of the this "Elvis Presley" person?  I tell  you, the boy can sing and his singing puts the boogey in my butt!  I am glad Grammy loaned me her Christmas present, I squealed like an ancient times 1950s school girl! Check out the videos on the 2011 Pictures page.
  • Holy Moley!  Christmas time again!  My second one, so I am told (I don't remember the first one, I was less than three months old)
  • So many people sent me so many cool gifts, I thank you all!!
    (pictures are posted)
  • Surprise stop at Magnussen today.  Pictures are posted.
  • Was good to see my peeps again and collect Zehrs tapes (THANK YOU)
  • 12:59pm - Cole was just taken into the Operating Room. He is getting his J-Tube (?) replaced with a Mickey (?). He should be out in 40 minutes or so and then off to recovery. All this is pending on McMaster Hospital having the right Mickey. If they do not have one, they will have to buy one and go through this again next week. You would think someone might check the stock first.
  • 1:41pm - Cole is out of surgery and in recovery. Mommy is in with him. It is unknown yet if the surgery was successful. Only one parent is allowed in recovery and the are not allowed to switch.
  • 1:51pm - Proper parts are installed. Upgrade complete. Meeting with the Dr. soon for debriefing and Mickey training.
  • Stopped by APOS to visit Unkie and spread the word about collecting Zehrs receipts for the WRDS.  Did not get to visit everyone so I will have to go back. 
  • Off to Hamilton with Daddy and Grammy, back to McMaster for a pre-surgical check up.  They want to replace my current feeding tube with something a little more aerodynamic.
  • I was a whole new level of pi**ed off and I let them know it...just about the entire time I was there. 
  • Unkie and I discussed the single "I'll Bite Your Face Off" from the new album called "Welcome 2 My Nightmare" by Alice Cooper.  Unkie thought it was a great return to the vintage Cooper form and I thought the bass solo was a couple of bars too short.  I guess that planted a seed.  When Grammy came over to kiss me, I kissed her back and bit a whole in her upper lip.  That did not go over well. 
  • Did you ever notice that "ugly" starts with "u" (you) and "AWESOME" ends with me? (take that're ugly)...
  • Has anyone else ever heard of this "Subway" sandwich thing??? OMG!!! The entire family had subs today (except me.... I will have to speak with someone about that)...Mommy gave me bits of hers.  Unkie's looked better (a "spicy Italian sub", I am told) so, I rolled over to see him.  I sat up then Unkie fed Abby some sub, fed me some sub and then had some himself. I must have ate half his sub then I spied Grumpy!!  Unkie picked me up and I stared at Grumpy till the old fart fed me (I have pictures).  Oh man!  What is in those things??  I tried to snatch the subway wrapper out of Grumpy's lap but I was thwarted. So, I stink-eyed Grumpy till he fed me more!
  • (Unkie here... I had to sneak in and write a bit here... hope the wee man does not catch me... fortunately he can type but he cannot read so I am not worried about posting this). Cole eating sub bun and meat is HUGE.  We were all floored that he ate like a little piglet and kept going back for more (he ate more than Abby, the dog, did)....and yes I posted the pictures...
  • Daddy made a false move so, I punched him in the eye and knocked out his contact lens.  If we were in prison he would be my bitch.
  • Went to my first birthday party, as a guest,  had a great time.  Not a lot of daddies around but whole lot of mommies!
  • Emergency trip to Grammy and Grumpy's.  No crib for a babe...Oh that a storage coffee table???  Pictures will be posted. . Somebody's gonna get hurt!
  • Wow, talking about hiring slackers.  I had to fire the last web guy and hire a new one as I did not realize he had not updated my website since August.  His people did not call my people, contracts were broken, strikes, unions dissolved; you know how it is.
  • So. what has happened since August? Let's see:
    • I guess most importantly, I had my first birthday not once but twice
      • Once at home with me "peeps" and the hired help
      • The second out at Magnussen
      • See pictures for both...
      • I even got a present from Kathy in North Carolina!!! Can you beat that?  It is a plastic ball with shapes cut out in it that you put plastic blocks into.  I preferred to split the ball in half, wear part of it as my army helmet and chuck the blocks at people.  Good times.
    • Had my first "professional" pictures taken (second if you count the magazine cover I appeared on when I was a month old).
    • I figured out that "sitting up" thing a while back - easy peasy
    • Have not shown much interested in is easier to just roll like a big fat sausage.
    • I went to Niagara Falls (twice), once to surprise my Great-Aunt Connie (daddy's, mommy's sister).
    • I eat my food like a horse (as long as it is hot). Banana's and Roast Beef - oh baby!
    • I found out that a metal beer bucket full of ice cubes makes a wonderful toy though the people at the bowling alley were not quite thrilled.


  • What a difference a month (give or take) can make
    • now I eat a jar of baby food per meal instead of one per day
    • no more NG-Tube now I am strictly a G-Tube kinda guy (now more hoses in this kid's face at picture time!)
    • discovered two new things; chocolate milk and ICE CREAM!
  • Went to the Kincardine Scottish Pipeband parade on the weekend.  Saw a bunch of dudes in dresses walking down the street to the tune of what sounded like cats being strangled.  I did not mind that part but the drummers scared me and I cried a little bit
  • Also got whacked in the face by a big puppy dog's tail and that was great fun!
  • What an interesting day today is! Today was Daddy's birthday; the "daughter-my-grammy-never-had"/"sister-my-daddy-and-unkie-never-wanted", Andrea Cushing's birthday AND my Great-Aunt Connie became a Grammy herself at 3 a.m. this morning!  A special warm "hello kid" to my new cousin "Violet".  I hear that this is so special that the entire United States is going to take tomorrow off!
  • If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  • Once again the "Loaded Diaper of Truth" has taken me back to Magnussen
  • We handed out key chains to everyone and cannot thank the folks at Magnussen enough for everything they have done.
  • We missed some people, I guess we will have to add another date for Magnussen on the Loaded Diaper of Truth Tour.
  • My Nana has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
  • If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.
  • Some happy news to starting things off with, I now eat a full jar of baby food each day.  This has allowed mommy and daddy to cut down on my milk. 
  • The Doctors say I am still not fat enough.  Unkie suggested injecting chocolate directly into my veins. It has become additionally apparent that the "Doctor" does not have to carry around a twenty pound baby all day.  Must be one of those Doctors whom learned all of his smarts from a book.
  • Daddy found a place online that sells Baby Under Armour clothes and thank God for that. I sweat like a sausage on a barbeque and the Under Armour helps keep me cool. A big, sloppy, baby kiss to "my source" for the duds in the U.S..
  • The Loaded Diaper of Truth Tour has returned to Kincardine and soon back to New Hamburg.
  • Unkie introduced me to one of my favorite activities.  "Watching cars go by". Unkie propped me up on the back of a bus bench on the corner of Queen and Fischer Hallman. When Red cars or trucks went by I laughed and giggled like a wee mad scientist.  Really rumbly Firebirds are definite cause to stop and stare as they go by.  This went on for twenty minutes, Unkie missed an inning of ball and lots of people stopped to watch me watch cars go by.
  • July 12th I go in for pre-op
  • July 15th they will be replacing my NG-Tube tube with a G-Tube
  • I have not spoken to Aunt Shannon in nine months.  I do not want to interrupt her.
  • The first stop of the "Loaded Diaper of Truth Tourwas a big success though I was lured there under false pretenses. Unkie set me up.  Fortunately I had my camera crew with me and they captured the "ambushing" live.  Watch the video below:
    • Special thanks to Magnussen, their Vision Committee, Richard Magnussen and everyone who donated their money and/or their time.
      • I heard that some money even made it over to Canada from Vietnam!   (Now I am going to have to have my people investigate taking the "Loaded Diaper of Truth Tour" global!)
    • Pictures from Magnussen have been uploaded, check out the Pictures link above
  • I got a stuffed Panda Bear!  It is as big as me!  - Actually, I stole it from Unkie's desk.... Don't tell anyone...sssshhhhhhh!!!
  • Invented a new thing today.  It is the called "The Steam Roller". The Steam Roller involves laying on your back and throwing your legs up in the air, flopping over onto your side, straightening your legs then rolling onto your back and you repeat the process until you cross the living room and smack into the TV.  Then you giggle like a sawed-off mad man!
  • Tried to Steam Roller the dog.  That did not go over well.  Dumb dog.
  • Today was long overdo.  Unkie has been relieved of his blog updating duties.  He has been slacking with the updates and generally not keeping things up. As of today his blog will be discontinued and mine will be maintained.

  • My old blog will remain below this one

  • New update to the website layout.  Again, had to do it myself as the 'hired help' dropped the ball. I've added a link for my  "Loaded Diaper of Truth Tour" (that loser Sheen stole the name from me).  The Loaded Diaper of Truth Tour page will show dates and locations for where I will be making appearances for "Meet and Greets".  Please keep autographs down to one item or I'll have Stephen Harper's goons throw you out.

  • I am now even more famous than ever. 

    • Grand River Hospital decided to use my picture (who else?) on their Neonatal intensive care unit webpage.  Click the link here ->

    • Grand River used the same picture on the cover of one of their nursing magazines.  I would posted it but daddy has been slacking on the scanning of the cover.

    • Grand River also used that picture in a pamphlet.  Again, I would post a picture if someone would get off his butt and scan it (the picture that is, not his butt...this is not that kind of website).

  • I caused quite the kerfuffel last week.  All I did was roll over and mommy and daddy have not stopped talking about it.

  • Also mastered holding giant head up.

  • Great Aunt Connie Skyped me the other day.  I couldn't see the laptop very well so I half pulled/half crawled a little closer to the infernal machine.  Again, a kerfullel was raised.

  • Unkie picked me up some cool clothes.  Three one pieces outfits and two shirts that I am all ready too fat for... I'll post pictures soon.


Original Blog

Day One

  1. I consider baby monitors a form of illegal wire tapping

  2. I hope the first word I ever say is the word "quote," so right before I die I can say "unquote."

  3. I am keeping a dairy.  Recently, I was rereading it.  It said:

    • Day 1 -- Still tired from the move.

    • Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot. 

Day Two

  1.  Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot. 

  2. My grandpa Doug likes to give me advice, but he's a little forgetful. Yesterday, he took me aside and left me there.

  3. I was born by Cesarean section. But not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave the house, I go out through the window.

  4. Doctor's gave mommy and daddy some good news.  No hydrocephalus.

  5. I turned two days old today and I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a day. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm seven days old I'll be sixty-four.

Day Three

  1. Likin' the new crib.  This new one is a convertible!  No more hard top.  I can now feel the breeze on my scalp.  They even installed some 'bling' with this shiny new mobile.

  2. Daddy asked me if I slept well last night. I said no, I made a couple mistakes.

Day Four

  1. For some reason my wait staff were a little surprised when I pulled my feeding tube out of my nose and handed it to them.  What's a brother supposed to do? I had to sneeze.  Perhaps they wanted milked to shoot out of my nose.

  2. Soothers are good.  Where have they been hiding these things?

  3. I got a new shadow today. I had to get rid of the other one -- it wasn't doing what I was doing

Day Five

  1. The Doctor says I need to pack up my stuff and get out.  Apparently they are kicking me out of Hamilton and setting me up with new digs in Kitchener.

  2. Last night when I was asleep someone broke into my crib and replaced everything with exact duplicates.

Day Six

  1. I woke up this morning and couldn't find my soothers, so I called information. She said they were behind the couch. She was right

  2. Been too busy to post much.  Trying to get the nurses trained to my feeding and bathroom schedule is proving to be more difficult than I originally anticipated. How do these people get into positions of authority?

  3. Mommy and Daddy come in a see me more.   Mommy has tried to feed me, having a hard time getting used to that.

Day Seven

  1. Yet another big move.  I'm now home in Kitchener yet not yet home.  My condition has been downgraded and I'm now in Grand River Hospital.

  2. Finally got to see Uncle Ian.  I hear he's loading up his apartment with Tonka toys.

  3. Mommy and Daddy are finally going to sleep at home tonight.

  4. You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading...and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

Day Eight

  1. I wish I was a bird.  Then my poop would be white and it would blend into my diapers.

  2. Daddy spent an hour or so teaching me how to give "the finger".  Apparently such a colorful metaphor comes in handy in later life as it is a large part of this thing they refer to as "driving".  Guess I'll have a leg up on the rest of the kids in daycare on that one.

  3. Learned another interesting lesson today; "The colder the examination table, the more of your body is required to be on it."

Day Nine

  1. Grammy and Grampy Stewart stopped by for a visit.  They're a lot shorter than I pictured them.

  2. Grampy asked Daddy if I had farted yet.  Taking that as my queue I laid one out that curled the plastic walls of the crib.  Grampy called me "Grasshopper" right after that.  I'm beginning to think that the problem with this gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

  3. Discovered G-Mail last night. Mom left my dinner at home in the fridge.  Unkie and Grampy brought it to the hospital for me.   Then Grampy appeared at the nursery.  My milk came by Grampy Mail!

Day Ten

  1. Handed the morning duty nurse my second feeding tube and they've gone and strapped me with another one.

  2. Drinking out of the bottle now.  I'm up to 20ml of milk per meal.   Ironically that is exact same amount of milk it takes for my daddy to throw up into his rubber boots.  What a wuss.  They wonder why I cry.

  3. Mommy said that Daddy is her trophy husband.  Apparently she didn't come in in First place.

  4. Grammy, Grampy, and Daddy gave Unkie more pictures to post.

Day Eleven

  1. I was watching the Blue Jays game with my Grampy. The other team hit a grand slam. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another four runs. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.

Day Twelve

  1. Hanging around with twenty sick babies.  I wasn't getting much attention from the nurses till Daddy snapped.  Now I'm getting some attention around here.

  2. Woke up this morning and took a baby shower.

Day Thirteen

  1. Finally mastered this peeing and pooping thing.  When you weigh as much as I do peeing out four ounces and havin' two poops in one session is draining!!

  2. They brought me some forms to fill out today. One the first form under the part that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

Day Fourteen

  1. They set me up with an appointment in Hamilton next week.  The doctor wants to check out the old ticker. There's something about being born with a hole in your heart that gets your on the top of the waiting list.

  2. Daddy told me the other day that they weren't sure I was 'under construction' those nine months ago.  Apparently the first pregnancy test came back negative. Then they figured that Mommy should pee on the second one. I look at Mommy, I looked at Daddy and then I wept openly.

Day Sixteen (Update provided by Daddy)

  1. Little dude now eats from a bottle on a semi-regular basis. 

  2. Can grunt and poop within a second. 

  3. Last night at bath time took diaper off rocked a wicked poop sound effects and all followed by a pee, all this immediately after taking his diaper off.  On a side note diapers are absorbent from the outside as well.  Terri couldn't stop laughing. 

Day Seventeen (another post by the old man)

  1. So, Jr. decided to see if he would take an entire bottle from us. Tried for around 30 min to feed it to him he drinks 5ml. He has a death grip on the bottle so much so that his bottom lip turns purple and his chin is going red. Decide he's done and put him in bed. In bed his eyes pop open, I stuff the bottle in his face and he drinks 3/4 of it before actually falling asleep.

  2. All of the babies in my ward are insane. The kid beside me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats. The girl across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."

  3. Grampy makes me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.


  1. Off to Hamilton tomorrow to get the ticker checked out

  2. Though less I am less than three weeks old my first words were caught on tape! CLICK HERE FOR THE FOOTAGE!


  1. Well, the Ding-a-lings, I mean Doctors, in Hamilton tell me that once they get my medication straightened up and I beef up a bit I can blow this pop stand and go home.

  2. The Doctors tell me I have one extra tiny hole that isn't a big deal, classic ASVD. So the plan is to make me big and strong for surgery in 4-6 months

  3. The baby beside me said to me; he said, "Guess what I like? Mashed potatoes." I'm like," Dude. You gotta give me time to guess. If you're gonna quiz me, you must insert a pause in there."


  1. Mommy and Me had our picture taken for a nursing magazine that is trying to attract more people to nursing.  The nurses in the nursery now call me "The Movie Star". (link will be provided when available)

  2. I wear a necklace now because I like to know when I'm upside down.

  3. I tried to freshen up a room, so I held a Certs in front of a fan.


  1. I passed my car seat test today.  What did you do?  Apparently sitting in place for ninety minutes is a characteristic I've inherited from Grampy and Unkie.  I am told however that they need to be in the bathroom and multiple issues of Popular Mechanics may be involved.  I hear Unkie is the only one of us whom wouldn't nod off for a nap or two.

  2. I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night.


I'm going home

There I am in my bedroom

I'm safe and snug and snoring and so glad to be here

I'm going home


None of this ever happened

But God, I really did it

Still nothing has changed

I'm going home


I'm going home

To my own room to all the mess

To all the dirty laundry

It looks so good I don't care

I'm just so glad to be back home

Sweet home



  1. Apparently I have an older brother and an older sister.  I don't see my big brother much as Daddy put up a gate to keep him from entering my room and peeing on the floor. Seems like an odd way to treat a fella's bedroom if you ask me.  Apparently he now pees in a box in the basement.  He's not one much for communications in fact I don't believe he responds to verbal commands at all.  He does casually and coolly walk over to me on all four of his feet then he usually gives me a disapproving sniff, leaves and then naps for hours on end.  My sister also walks around here on all four of her feet and the more I think about it the more logical that seems having that lower center of gravity, I must try that when I get a bit older.  Back to my sister, she likes to yell at EVERYTHING that comes to, or she thinks comes to, the front door.  I believe she must in charge of security.  She is a little more communicative then my brother, she'll sniff me, give me a lick and then go chew on a bone.  I have some very odd, very furry siblings.

  2. Unkie dropped by the house today.  He felt compelled to hold me for over an hour and all I wanted to do was sleep. So, I pooped on him.

  3. Mom and Dad were a little stressed that I didn't want my 8:30 bottle too terribly badly so, I made up for it with the 11:30 bottle by sucking 'er down in record time.  Perhaps pooping on Unkie is the key to developing a good hunger.


  1. Woke up this morning and found an 1000 watt, 5.1 Surround Sound Home Theater and HDTV with satellite hooked up in my room. DAMN! I thought I caught a glimpse of a fat bastard in a red suit slipping out of my room.


  1. Grammy and Grampy dropped by.  I was passed around like a jar of hard candy at an old folks home.

  2. I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.


  1. Completed another trip to the Doctor's office and I weighed in a 8.8 lbs

  2. It took five alleged "health care professionals" one and a half hours and six attempts to draw three vials of blood from me.  At least I didn't pass-out at the sight of blood like one if the sissies to whom I am related.  I won't embarrass him by mentioning his name but his initials are D.a.d.d.y.

  3. Couldn't sleep very well in the crib last night so snuck out my bedroom window and fell asleep in the satellite dish. My dreams showed up on TVs all over the world.


  1. I think "Uncle" is Latin for "to poop on".  Mine has held me twice and I pooped on him both times.  Coincidence?  I think not!

  2. I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a baby who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"


  1. My first official smile.  A real smile.  It wasn't gas and it wasn't prompted by Daddy's hurting himself, which will make anyone laugh.

  2. Yesterday I found out what doughnuts are for. You put them on doughbolts. They hold dough airplanes together. For kids, they make erector sets out of play-dough.


  1. I knew something was up when Grandma Bonnie mysteriously appeared.  They told me I was going in for "the big snip".  I later learned they were not referring to a haircut.  Ever hear that joke about the Priest and the Rabbi that buy a car and the Rabbi celebrates by cutting a quarter of an inch off of the tail pipe?  Yeah.  That kind of snip....

  2. My Grammy gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. She says it's very accurate. I asked her what time it was. You can guess what she told me.

  3. Daddy and I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and then act like we're in a submarine that's been hit


  1. Forgot to mention, up three pounds now.  I am now 9lbs and 11 ozs

  2. Last time I went to the movies I was thrown out for bringing my own food. My argument was that the concession stand prices are outrageous. Besides, I haven't had a Bar-B-Que in a long time.

Less Recently

  1. Where does a baby begin?  Today's baby is busier than any baby of any other era. There are home nurses, doctor's visits, visiting people at work, and people constantly stopping by,  I need an iPhone just to keep my damn appointments straight.  I'll bet you that way back in the ancient days, like I'm talking, the "1980s" ancient, babies were born in the field and right after the birth daddy went right back to hunting dinosaurs and mommy kept on collecting berries.

  2. Found out that the Waterloo Regional Down Syndrome Society gets money from collecting Zehrs tapes. So save your Zehrs tapes and get them to Mommy, Daddy or Unkie. How hard can that be?

  3. Grammy and Grampy were over to the house the other day.  Daddy made a Grammy a cake.  Grammy was celebrating the quinquagenary anniversary of her seventeenth birthday even though her actual birthday is on Halloween. Get this, Grammy, her evil twin sister and their father were all born on Halloween.

  4. Actually got out of the house on Monday.  Took a big car ride out to the booming metropolis of New Hamburg to visit Unkie at work.  Unkie must have done something right at work for a change because the guy that runs the place donated $500 to the Waterloo Regional Down Syndrome Society in my honour!  Can you believe that?  The donation made Mommy and Grammy cry and maybe Unkie too but only just a little bit cause guys don't cry, it's not cool. Afterwards we went to visit Daddy at work in Waterloo.

  5. Unkie made me smile by making me do "Rubber Baby".

  6. The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...


  1. Unkie stopped by to play with me today on his way home from work.  He fed me, burped me and I barfed on him.  We then played a little more and I fell asleep on him in a comfortably unique position.  Pictures below.

Since Last Update


  • Doctors tested my hearing and I passed the hearing test.  As the doctors tell me; "Sixty to 80% of children with Down syndrome have hearing deficits."

  • Have to throw a shout out to the people at "Magnussen Home".  You see, Unkie works there and at the behest of mommy and daddy, Unkie put a box in Magnussen's lunchroom for collecting Zehrs tapes.  (As noted above the  Waterloo Regional Down Syndrome Society gets money from collecting Zehrs tapes).  Anyhow, Unkie has found the box packed pretty much every week, bundles of tapes on his desk and an once 8.5 x 11" manila envelope filled to 3/4" thick with tapes.  To that I say a heartfelt "Thank You".

  • I didn't know it then, but looking back, in hindsight, I realize that when I was younger I could see into the future. Now I'm getting all my premonitions as flashbacks!

  • Unkie brought me some exercise equipment.  (See pictures below).  I now I have a nice, big, flat turtle I can lay on when I'm doing my head lifting exercises.  Also got a Reindeer ('Tis the season) and a Seal. Not sure what there are for.

  • The good folks at KidsAbility told mommy and Daddy that I am "on track" and a little bit a head of some non-Down's babies (ha! take that!)

  • Grammy, Grumpy and Grandma Hilda have been up multiple times recently and we've gone out for dinner each time.  The first time I was stripped nekkid on the table and dressed up like Santa Claus (see picture above).  The second time I was dressed up with a string of flashing coloured lights like a Christmas tree (see below).  I'm sure this is some kind of abuse.